Stretch to Contain: A Dream Motto

A big dream is a life plan; it's a map for the journey.  Over the years I've written about my Howling Mary dream. I know why Mary was howling; she was calling to me to see and to do.  In my dream, I ran to her and offered to help.  She inspired me to grab the chalice from the priest and offer something better than the worms they were serving communicants. The worms had turned to rubber bands.

Rubber bands stretch to contain.  This dream is decades old, but right now, I think that's an excellent motto. A game in Active Dreaming is to come up with a bumper sticker derived from a dream.  "Stretch to contain."

I was recently invited as a past board member to a wonderful organization , run for and mostly by women, addressing critical issues women face in patriarchal culture, domestic violence and sexual assault.  In patriarchy, males are sanctioned to commit both, especially if women step outside the behavior code prescribed for them.  There are, of course, always patriarchal not libel clauses for  moments when "men will be men."

CBS 60 Minutes correspondent, Lara Logan, is the keynote speaker at CFJ's event.  She was covering the Egyptian "Arab Spring" In Feb. of 2011 when minor technical difficulties for her and her all male crew created a moment off camera when the reveling warriors became obsessed with attacking her.

She impresses me in her account with her unbelievable courage and clarity.  I cannot imagine in any cell of my body having to endure what she endured.  I'm very grateful to her for sharing her story and hope you will take the little bit of time to hear it if you haven't already; I'm attaching it at the end.

I've already mentioned how we're living in a ramped up pussy grabbing world, until we decide to call a spade a shovel and confront the explicit and malignant male view of women, how it's perpetuated in various religious cultures and what we can do to reverse this poisonous tide, we miss the point of what needs to happen.  A point that Howling Mary in my dream made very clear.

What happened to Lara Logan happened because she went into a supremely patriarchal bacchanalia thinking her international journalist status would protect her, as would her team of men.  But you look at that crowd and you see it's all men, maybe one grandma in full dark burrito wrap, but all men.  Then you look at Lara and she is the epitome of beautiful Euro/Anglo woman.  I have to ask myself; what's going on here  that isn't being reported? This is a hate crime, not a sexual assault.

Sexual assault is a loaded term in patriarchy; the "she asked for it" defense has served attackers well over the years.  But the violence that erupted from the celebratory victory parade Lara was covering, in my opinion, erupted as a cultural, uber-male patriarchal hate crime that has mixed into it, the hatred of the controlling male faction of patriarchy, the white race, the West.  But Lara was in the bullseye. She was the epitome of the Western woman, smart, beautiful, independent and unrestrained; definitely not burrito wrapped.

What responsibility does CBS have for their naive approach to covering the news of that testorone charged day?  A lot, I think.  But that aside, in the 60 minutes report, there is no mention of the obvious.  This is a fanatically anti-woman religious group attacking a beautiful, independently successful white woman, perhaps because she personifies what they fear the most, the freedom and equality of women.

I'm sorry, any culture that insists women be burrito wrapped in desert heat because of what her beauty and seductive powers might do to undermine the excellent job the guys are doing currently, is a culture to be called out and watched closely.  Uber-macho patriarchy is at the heart of God the Father, men in charge religions.

As a feminist since the 70's, I'm so tired of the bra-burning, man hating media Medusa projected onto our movement on the yap-tube, which is at least 90% male owned and run.  Yes, there was a great feminist awakening of consciousness for women and men in the 70s and 80s, but any feminist who doesn't know how the movement was co-opted; think super hero women in stilettos and bustiers, faking ingenue for Mr. Right.

At the heart of all human renewal is the challenge of balancing the female and the male in the human psyche, (psyche in Greek means soul, as well as butterfly).  It's clear to me that women don drag every day to take on the world.  They pluck and tuck and tweeze and squeeze into Barbie archetypes to follow the drill of feminine existence in patriarchal cultures.  I marvel at the smart news women on all stations in their Barbie dresses and stiletto heels.  Really?  I'd love to see drag day, where all the anchor men go into hair and make-up for the same effect.  We'd hardly know the difference.

We are souls first, manifested bodies second; yet, we're living in a culture that just focuses on the physical, and even worse, stereotypes the physical so excruciatingly narrowly it has all of us jumping for no good reason.  What if we thought more about the lessons we're here in the physical to learn, in order to continue an infinite journey?

What if, as renowned OBE pioneer, William Buhlman teaches, we need to claim spiritual independence?  How?  By trusting that we're born into the physical equipped with several safety lines to home. I consider all of dream studies a portal to organic spirituality, that includes spontaneous night dreams, lucid dreams and OBEs.

This spontaneous big dream that came to me in college preceded so many unforeseen turns in my spiritual road.  I went from culturally indoctrinated religion to paradigm bending women's spirituality to  exploration of inner space without the blinders of preconceived beliefs.

Why is Mary Howling?  The huge imbalance, injustice and under championed status of women in patriarchies all over this current world, the one that is imploding of its own greed and wrong-heartedness, is causing more and more suffering.  She's mad as hell and won't take it any more.

I'm so grateful that Lara Logan, warrior woman that she is, was able to reclaim her spirit after that horrendous waking horror.   However, this is a hate crime that shrieks of how brutal patriarchal religions are towards women.  Why weren't there women celebrating with the men? Allah wants women behind the scenes; Yahweh's often right there with him.  When will we call a spade a shovel and ban all religions that have only a male divinity?  It's not good for anybody, female or male.  The TAO teaches the yin/yang of existence and the need to achieve balance; it works.  As we exist now, the planet is threatened by the uber-patriarchal stances of warring male egomaniacs.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over, expecting different results.

In the end, it was a group of Egyptian women on the sidelines, themselves burritoed, who saved Lara when CBS official protection failed. Her story is breathtaking.  They intervened and folded her into their circle, throwing water at the attackers, mobs of men.  The mob stopped at attacking their own women in a public setting, also, some men sided with the women.  From there, Lara was delivered from her attackers with the aid of soldier intervention, though it was touch and go the whole way.  Her story is remarkable; I hope to hear it personally at the fundraiser.

In my dream, Mary is howling for what happened to her and for what happens to women subjected to patriarchal religious and legal cultural restrictions.  Egypt in 2011 might have been one extreme of the great octopatriarchalpus, but pussy grabbing is our own western manifestation; that and legislation that subjects women to unfair biological demands because it's written into male favoring, women bullying patriarchal pseudo-god dictated codes of social behavior.  As Gloria Steinem once said, "If men could have babies, abortion would be a sacrament."

My Howling Mary tells me that we must stretch our imaginations and our hearts to contain all the damage that force based, rapist ideologies have inflicted over the last 6 millennia on our world cultures.  We need to think outside of what has been considered conventional, not with our heads, as the patriarchy endorses, but with our hearts.  Beware of anyone who doesn't use the heart as a touchstone.

Let's stretch our imaginations to redirect how our waking dream on this planet plays out.  Let's think in spirit form first and recognize how arbitrary rules about female existence subject to male dominance are destroying our planet.  We're in this together.  God is not Father, is not male.  God/dess is Love.

Here is Lara's story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF4VG5Dh-sg&feature=share


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Honoring Dreams - Dreams Require Action

Active Dreaming is a direct, accessible approach to building a dreaming life for just about anyone of any age. I'd like to emphasize how important “honoring a dream” is in an Active Dreaming practice.  Using indigenous peoples' understanding of dreaming, AD teaches the value of of listening and responding to dreams in conscious, waking life. 

Robert Moss has written extensively on this topic, so I refer you to his books for more information, and if you prefer audio/visual learning, to the DVD series that Jim and I produced with Robert, presenting Active Dreaming, The Way of the Dreamer with Robert Moss. 

People who live/lived much closer to Nature than we do now had lots more time on their hands for introspection. Not necessarily because their lives were less stressed than ours, (try hunting and gathering for a living) but because they didn’t have or need our distractions. Visualize the phenomenal amount of hours the average American man, woman and child watch television or other devices, the lack of sleep that afflicts many and the “hurry sickness” that infects our conscious lives. Who has time or energy for introspection or dream work? But for our indigenous ancestors, dreams provided a lot of their entertainment; they also connected through dreams to the worlds of Spirit.

I'm not saying honor your dreams by doing whatever you think your dream is telling you to do, fly, beat up your boss or go to church naked. Honoring a dream is about: 

1. Listening. Paying Attention.  I just heard the old song, “Elusive Butterfly of Love” by Bob Lind, which is about a love struck romantic chasing his beloved into her dreams through his. (Hmmm, sounds good to me). I use this example because he’s obviously tuned in to his dreams, even though he’s telling her in the song not to let his flitting in bother her, it’s just a dream. (Actually it's very bad etiquette to flit into someone's dream without permission.) Still, his dreams are a happening place.  When I go to sleep, I know I’m going somewhere. I’ll be doing something. Sometimes I “incubate” what I want from my dream by asking for a dream about a desire or need, but when I don’t, I still know I’m going on a dream journey, just like when I get into my car, I’m headed somewhere. 

2. Recording, Journaling. I’ve posted some ideas on recording dreams previously; what I wish to emphasize now is  the pleasure of this exercise. Your dream journal becomes your book of life. It contains stories that you’ll grow to love and see as part of who you are. All it takes is developing the simple practice of writing your dream story into your journal. This practice not only honors your dream, it honors your soul, for as some of our indigenous ancestors taught, dreams are the secret wishes of the soul.

3. Engage and Dialogue.  Once I record my dream there are many ways to play with its story. I can do stream of consciousness writing or drawing, I can copy a dance or song from a dream.  I can also engage characters from the dream in dialogue.  My favorite dream play practice is to re-enter a dream and continue it's action to my satisfaction.  Dreams bridge the gap between waking and sleep, the two portals we enter and exit daily that are equally part of our existence on this planet. Just as we use our conscious mind to navigate our waking world, we can use our imagination to navigate our dream worlds.

4. Gratitude. In gratitude to my dream, I consciously honor it in my waking life by acting on its message or manifesting its symbols. I may share it with a person who was part of my dream by contacting them, whether I share the dream or not. I may follow its inspiration in writing stories, songs or poems. I may draw a picture or find one to display prominently, to evoke the dream for me as I go about my daily affairs,  Sometimes, I just ponder it for days, turning it around in my thoughts, letting the symbols dance in my mind’s eye until it reveals something of itself I’ve missed.  

It takes building a relationship with our dreams to know just how to honor one in waking life; the more we play with them, the more we can live our lives creatively. Dream play, honoring your dream, is like sex, if you can make time for it and enjoy it, you don’t regret it. 

Expect An Answer

Dream "incubation" means that the dreamer went to sleep focused in an open hearted way on a question or a request to the Dream Source. In both the ancient cultures of Egypt and of Greece, dream incubation was a sacred practice that anyone who needed spiritual help and physical healing could access by going to the temples as a pilgrim in search of a dream cure. Gods and goddesses spoke to the dreamer and intervened on her or his behalf through dreams.

So if you need the answer to a problem or a question; just ask. But expect an answer. Not always that night and very often not the answer you might have anticipated. The pact I make with my dream guides is that no matter what comes through, icky or not, I'll write it down.

This has proved over and over again to me that my dream guides love me and have a superb sense of ironic humor. On the surface, the dream may seem distasteful, irrelevant or embarrassing; but when I sit down with a dear dream friend and play with it, light bulbs go off. I love the sheepish joy I feel; "Oh, I get it." That "aha" always floods me with gratitude for the unconditional, loving guidance of dreams.

I love telling my friend my dream as dramatically as possible. The theater of it, speaking the dream out loud, begins to release some of the emotional charges of particular images and characters in a first wave of enlightenment.

I also love to hear my friend describe to me her experience of my dream; whether it applies to me, or to her, I gain insight. She emphasizes different things; I hear another perspective. She uses only the personal pronoun, shares with me her feelings, associations and intuitions and opens wonderful new vistas in my dream for me to explore.

Re-entering the dream through my imagination in a dream journey, alone or in the good company of a dream friend, is my favorite form of dream exploration.

In a dream I recently explored, re-entering allowed me to find a close, unexpected ally in a Shadow figure (in the Jungian sense) whom I referred to in my dream as "the buxom blonde" but after an exciting re-entry conversation, she became my dear friend, Jezebelle.

The answer to the dream questions we incubate may appear in many unexpected ways. Perhaps a waking feeling, perhaps a synchronicity. They'll appear in an unlikely dream that I faithfully wrote and pursued, and continue over a series of subsequent dreams until I get it.

I'm fond of Jung's point of view that dreams don't come to tell us what we already know. They don't call it the unconscious for nothing. So when someone prefaces their dream narrative with, I know what this is about, I always keep an open mind and suggest a little further play.

You asked, an answer will come. Focused intention and attention to dream material regardless of seeming insignificance pays off big time in dream exploration. Do you knock on a door, knowing your friend is home, and not expect her to open it for you?

DreamTiVo: Dream Memory and Dream Juice

A friend emailed me that she had a wild and crazy dream the other night. All she remembers, she said, was that it was a musical, not a familiar one, something brand new, all original songs and lyrics. She found it funny and exciting. Even across cyberspace, I could feel the thrill this dream held for her. She said; “As soon as I woke up I wished I could have DREAM-TIVOED it.” Bingo, I thought; of course you can! Good handle for dream re-entry, DREAMTIVO.

Knowing her love and talent for writing, I replied enthusiastically; “If it's my dream, I'm going to sit down and write as many songs, even just the lyrics, that I can, in honor of my dream. Even if I can't actually remember the dream narrative, the spirit of it is enough to get me going. I'll give the musical a title and craft it's story. Maybe I'll design the staging, etc., too.” A good way to jump start this adventure would be to relax first and re-enter the dream, look around and dream it forward.

Sometimes all that’s needed to re-enter a juicy dream is lingering energy, emotion or images. Often, in my daydreaming state, new details return of the actual dream. It doesn’t matter how much or little of the dream I remember; it’s charged with energy. It's like getting a free pass into my own personal amusement park. Why would my inner creative child ignore this invitation?

Dream “juice” as Robert speaks of this energy, can last for days, weeks and even years. There are dreams that still thrill me; dreams I could re-enter alone or with friends anytime. I can also peruse my journals to find dreams with juice I may have forgotten. I’ve often experienced how time effects a sea change in a dream’s energy. Here's an example I posted in March of 2011, Erotic Dreams.

The possibility I hold out to my friend and to any dreamer is that, no matter how small the memory trail your dream leaves behind, you can slip through that little bitty dream gate and be back in the world of that dream. Robert often says, "a dream is a place". I invite you to think of the dream as a place, a locale you travel to, not a figment of your imagination (or as I prefer to call it, a pigment of your infatuation), but another dimension, a parallel existence, that you can re-enter at will, using imagination to fuel the journey. As with any cross-cultural travel, the more you visit, the more familiar you are with the differences from your normal existence and the more comfortable you are going there.

It all begins with our innate ability to sleep, perchance, to dream.

"Let It Be" Sung By A Chorus of Thousands

In my previous post I share a dream that was an answer to my prayers; "Angel Dolphin, Where Have You Been?" I needed that spiritual reassurance to get back on track. One of the practices of Active Dreaming as taught by Robert Moss is honoring a dream by manifesting it's energy in the waking through some tangible action. That's why I often do drawings from my dreams; I've shared with you several incidents of uncanny, unpremeditated results.

Another way to honor a dream is to journey back into it, not by falling back asleep, but by slipping into the mild trance of daydreaming and continuing or extending the dream from any point of choice. Robert calls it "Dream Re-Entry"; it's similar to journeying practices in many shamanic cultures and to what Carl Jung called Active Imagination.

Angel Dolphin was definitely a dream I wanted to re-enter and to my delight, I got to share this dream re-entry with a dear friend. Here's my journey back into "Angel Dolphin":

When I recognize that my guide is a dolphin, I lose my fear. I slip off the raft and into the sultry ocean waves. Swimming under the dolphin, I emerge on the other side of him in my Mermaid form. I'm singing the Beatles song, "Let It Be" to the music being performed by a band on shore. Everyone joins in singing the song; the dolphin, my cousin, who has also taken mermaid form, and then voice by voice, thousands of others, merpeople and dolphins everywhere. It's our anthem to our Lady. I am a small voice in this chorus, but the joy I derive from singing it is immense.

When we shared our trips, my friend's journey had many features in common with mine, and also extended to areas that I welcomed as more insight to my dream. Later that evening, along with her musician son on guitar, we sang our rendition of "Let It Be." I've learned the lyrics and sing it periodically as a centering practice and a way to honor my dreams.

Some may consider dream re-entry a frivolous flight of the imagination; I find it's an excellent intuitive tool for Self balancing through dream play.

The picture above is "Our Lady of Good Counsel" (a fitting a.k.a. for the Lady in my dream re-entry); it's a picture I took recently of the church I attended sporadically as a teenager. It's also the dream setting for one of my most treasured Big Dreams, "Howling Mary." Let It Be.

When There Is No Dream

For many reasons, there are times I don't remember my dreams. Sometimes it happens in short stretches, a few days, others longer. Because I pay attention, I usually don't go a month without recording a night dream.

In every group I lead in dream play, there are some who say they don't remember their dreams, or "I don't dream;" so I find the issue of increasing dream recall important to address early on.

The first reason many don't recall is lack of attention. If we're use to popping out of bed, or even slithering out, to the jar of an alarm, then immediately focusing on the day and waking life events, it's no surprise we don't remember anything from the night's dreams. We're simply not paying attention. To remedy that is easy, right? Pay attention. Soft alarms are best if one must be used; jarring yourself out of sleep tends to work against dream recall, but even this can matter less if our attention is focused on remembering.

I find it's important to use a different type of remembering; ask myself questions that have to do more with recalling an experience than remembering content. Not what did I dream, but where was I? Who was there? What happened? Then I scan my inner screen for images that linger. Sometimes it's all very vivid and I begin writing immediately. This seldom feels like a duty; more like really wanting to keep this record of events to play with later.

But, if any dream recall is slipping away, I relax my attention more and see what might float back to me. I give it time and just call it back to me by wanting to see, hear and feel that dream again.

The analytical mind is a wonderful thing, but it's only half of the brain functions we have. The right brain uses different processes, a different knowing. It's intuitive and built in, just not highly valued above the age of 6. No wonder Jesus loves the little children; spiritual thinking is also, in my eyes, not analytical.

If I don't recall a dream at all, not even the feeling of one, I've got about a zillion recorded that can be my sandbox that day. I just pick one at random and ponder or play. This is the payoff for writing them down; you've got them to play with for a long time, as long as you don't lose your journal. The random choice invites synchronicity; returning to a dream often sparks just as much for me as a fresh dream does.  Dreams are truly timeless and synchronicity is a very juicy thing to invite into the dream game.

I'll return to this topic, there's more. Would love to hear from anyone; thanks for your attention.