Monday, June 4, 2018

Jim Almost Died: A Waking Dream

Here's a waking dream for you.  Perhaps you've had the experience of shepherding a loved one through a close brush with death; that's the card I drew from luck's deck this week.

How blessed am I to have a family support system that includes a Functional Med doctor for a brother? How blessed am I to live a block and a half from a small, clean and professionally staffed hospital?  How blessed am I to have loving friends who care for Jim and went out of their way to support us through this crisis?  My neighbor, Lou, mowed the lawn on Sunday; it was music to Jim's ears.

A brush with death is one thing, a loved one's brush with death is another.  I've been in a state of bliss that Jim didn't have to cross over at the moment, then this synchronicity yesterday:

I deposited Jim safely at home from the hospital and took off to do errands, like food shopping for his post-op diet.  I'm leaving Trader Joe's, walking towards my parked car in the lot when I notice a tall, thin blonde woman is walking practically lock step with me. She's mumbling about how she can't find her car, "I absolutely am coming down with Alzheimer's; oh, where's the car."  I ask if she has a remote that beeps the car shut, a tactic I've resorted to on occasion.  "No",  then she points to a big black jeep next to my small black VW and says, "there it is at last".

Before she gets in, she turns to me and says; "You see, my husband very recently died suddenly."  I was stunned.  I said, "My husband very recently almost died suddenly," but she didn't hear me and I didn't pursue it.  She so obviously wanted to tell me about her experience that I let her.  I listened and comforted for a little while, then she got in her car and I got in mine.  All the way home I feel I'm living in this waking dream, my husband almost died, but he didn't.

It's not the dying that's the problem.  If you've ever read my posts on death and the healing dreaming can bring those left behind in the physical, you'll know that I think death is nothing to fear, especially if you've lived with as much love in your heart as possible.  (If you're a mean jerk, I presume your habitat after death will be a community of fools like yourself.  I think we gravitate towards what and who we love, so the stronger, broader and more courageous our love  is now, the more exciting the crossing into the non-physical dimensions of our spiritual/energy existence.)  Jim is a kind and caring person; this is his second near death experience since I've known him, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't fear death either.

Separation? "Ah, there's the rub." How much better for me that he's here with me!  The stark contrast to my widow shadow woman in my waking dream at TJ's just fuels my hallelujah!  This synchronicity confirmed for me that I'm never alone, one way or the other, one path or the other; I can depend on help to be there for me. I feel luckier than she because my partner didn't die, but there's help for her in her love for him, and his for her; as she told me,  "He would want me to take care of myself."

Death is a very strange teacher.



Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Let Your Dreams Guide You

One of the best things I've learned from following my dreams for over 30 years is that I'm my own authority when it comes to me. 

There is no need to give my soul into another's care; she's my responsibility. Contemporary patriarchal religions claim they will save my soul. She doesn't need saving, save from them.

I'm a spiritual being having a physical existence; dreaming is the bridge between the realm of my spiritual being and the physical realms "I" dwell in now.

Why would I give anyone authority over my soul?  So much of what these religions espouse denigrates woman, that's what's damaging to my soul, my psyche. It's damaging to the male psyche, as well. Myths we've imbibed since childhood, especially when we're parked in "church" and religious studies early on, endure at an unconscious level. 

One example is the psychically imbedded patriarchal myth that woman is the patsy of all evil, "woman born of the rib of man" (go figure), Eve; she who crossed an arbitrary line and wham, all Hell literally breaks lose.  There's also the patriarchal Greek version of this  dumb, trespassing woman, Pandora.  Those myths are a heavy burden on womankind.  

Religions like Catholicism, Orthodox Judaism and most Islamic sects from what I can tell, see women as threats to man's ultimate spiritual sanctity.  His Holiness the Man can be sullied by her unholiness, the woman, therefore justifying her pitiful place in the pecking order of His patriarchal society.

The Good News is I don't need religion because dreams teach me the most profound and the most practical lessons, in a custom tailored narrative. 

I follow my dreams in the most literal sense. In this way, I live twice as long, in both the spiritual and physical worlds at once. This allows me to replace belief with experience.  I don't believe in life after death, I know life after death is the next stage of my own and all physical adventures. I trust my own spiritual experiences in dreams to assure me and sustain me in waking life.

Dreams guide me through my experiences in waking life, too.  As I say in my bio on this blog, they've helped me, comforted me, disabused me of illusions, scared the pajamas off me and lent me strength.  They teach in amusing, often kind ways, though sometimes, they're heart thunderingly scary.

Along with dreams, there's synchronicity, dubbed that by Jung to describe the psychic phenomenon of "acausal connections." Castaneda's Shaman teacher, Don Juan, calls it "Agreement. It's that wonderful thrill of recognition we experience when life's physical events echo our inner worlds, especially the dream worlds. I see it as another bridge between waking and spiritual life. It's that deja vu feeling; or as Robert Moss has pointed out, it's probably really Deja Reve. 

When something from the dream worlds manifests in waking, it's also an affirmation that there is guidance and support available from other dimensions. I live in more than just this physical reality; I walk a path in waking life and I walk a path in dream realities.  I pay attention to both.  From my dream path, I know I'm not alone.   I know I am loved, connected and assisted; dreams allow me to explore the mystery of existence for myself, which is how I take responsibility for my own soul. My soul is an eternal reality, so it's my soul  that seeks connection to me.  It's my Soul who is saving me.  My Soul or as some teachers refer to it, my Higher Self.  I connect to my soul most strongly through my dream experiences.


Dreams bring healing with them when we pay attention and respect them. Listening to our own dreams, seeking our inner guides first hand is a great adventure.  If it seems like scary terrain, it might be worth getting a dream coach; otherwise, it should be as easy as riding a bike when we were kids.  We all dream; pay attention, why not? It's an organic avenue to self awareness and self-love


Here's a story that illustrates the dream/synchrocity connection.  I often have post dream teaching life synchros; they're like a huge hug from another world.  


I recently taught a workshop at a local university; a young woman shared a dream about seeing a dear sweet Huskie pup in desperate need of rescue and yearning to do something to save it. At the end of our Lighting Dreamwork process, she announced that she was definitely going to volunteer at her local animal shelter, as she had been wanting to do.  The next day I'm at Petco for cat supplies and see that they're running a special adoption clinic event for dogs from some awful puppy mill, mostly pit bulls or similar breeds.  The sight of those dogs in cages and numerous people there to adopt put me in mind of yesterday's dreamwork.  The synchronicity really hit, though, when, standing in the check out line, I turn to see that the man behind me has a young, beautiful blue-eyed Huskie on a leash. Immediately the dog jumps, places his paws on my shoulders and stares into my eyes.  Whoa!  Deja Reve!  I felt animal love so profound that, if that man hadn't already adopted him, that little boy would have come home with me.  I did leave the store with those physical shivers of recognition that synchronicity induces; a kind of spiritual high-five.

When I taught high school theology, I tried to apply the learning model that derives from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, (physical, security, belonging, self-esteem, self-actualization): we learn best by experience, second best by example and least best by being told.  I still find that's true.  


Dreams are experiences, just like waking events are, experiences in my life.  I don't need to be told what to believe. As Jung once cryptically said, I know.  I know what I know, what I don't know, I've yet to find out.  What you know is part of your story.  We can share our stories, we can use our imaginations to place ourselves in another's dream scenario, but we cannot live a dream or a life for another. We each have our own path to follow; our own actions to live out in lessons and consequences.  The best way to teach another how to understand dreaming is to point to the door available in their souls and show them how it opens. The worst way is to presume to tell someone else what their dream means.


By way of convincing us to pay attention, pre-cognitive dreams are one of the most compelling dream experiences we can have. When a dream weaves itself into the fabric of my lived experiences, the next day, the next month or the next decade, I realize there's more to me than meets the I.  I'm not alone; guidance is available to me through dreams.  Something beyond this physical world makes sense, help is available, if I pay attention.

So, I invite you to let your dreams guide you. All it takes is paying attention to your dreaming experiences.  Even when dreams don't manifest in waking life literally, their symbols and scenarios are often vibrant  metaphors for our waking experiences.  Giving dreams space to exist in my life, as real as any other real I can experience, broadens my perspective on existence considerably.  Most dreamers find this to be true; why not you?











Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Spiritual Empowerment Through Dreaming

“It’s ok not to be ok” popped up in a meme on my FB page.  It made me think of all the times I’ve heard health professionals teach about self-acceptance. Why should I need anyone’s permission to be who I am? To feel OK?   Who set the standards for okayness?

Society? The norms that bring us so much gun violence and so much divisiveness are in painfully obvious need of reinvention.  American citizens are dealing with a hot mess, politically at home, as well as around the world; the hot mess male leaders insist on making perpetually. Boys with very dangerous toys! 

Or morally?  That which is right?  And who gets to decide that; the boys in black dresses with their ‘oh so special’ inside track to Nobodaddy? Who is your God?  Patriarchy’s bloviating dictators who demand total allegiance on the pain of death and perdition, or Love, the greatest mystery we can know, the champion of our self-acceptance.

I believe, as a spiritual being having a physical experience, each of us has her or his own inside track to morality. Our hearts teach us what is wrong and what is right throughout our lives, and that still inner voice Jesus pointed to, assures us we’re never alone.  The Queen/Kingdom of God is within.

Morality is my social conduct based on my spiritual understanding, which is based on my own experience, not some external law.  My experience has brought me to the conclusion that Love is the Answer (LITA).  Love is a force that very few people have never experienced, but plenty of people deny.  Love is so much more than private ownership of a physical chunk of earth or another person. Love transcends the physical appearances of waking life, whispering in our ears at night.  I AM Here with you; you are SAFE with Me.  Look within.

My spiritual evolution comes from dialogue with my dreams.  Watching my dream life taught me to observe waking life in a similar way. I often experience how the magic of sychronicity and dream correlations meld my waking and dream experiences into a complete sense of Self.  

I have faith in my dreams because they’ve helped me immensely in my waking life, whether by giving me a head’s up that what seemed improbable in a dream is now happening so take charge of the situation, or by consoling my heart when it’s aching, or by making me see the very funny side of life and not take me and other’s pecadillos so seriously.

Because of dreams and dreaming, I have faith that however distressing life gets, collectively and personally, help is always available from the spirit, from those who love me on the other side, from Home.  I have faith that goes from my heart to the Heart Divine.  I’ve found grace, forgiveness and courage so many times in my dreams, and I know it’s a universal reality.  Dreams are our bridge to spirit.  Our breadcrumbs to home. 

If I feel not okay, it’s because I’m suffering from the expectations of me that come from outside myself.  Rules, regulations, codes and enforcers are the hallmark of patriarchies. Our modern psyche is full of dread from too many years of brutal patriarchal rule.  Granted, 6,000 years of warring father religions and rulers is nothing compared to where archeology puts us homo sapiens, 200,000 years of human cultures around the globe.  It's time to admit that patriarchy is bad for the soul, the spirit.  Angry Father Gods have got to go. 

Our earliest archeological records are of the veneration of the Mother Goddess and her Body, the Earth. 
The Venus of Willendorf, circa 29,000 BCE,  is one of the few ancient  Goddess images extant in the modern patriarchal era; goddess worshiping traditions were largely destroyed by centuries of patriarchal religious inquisitions.  Goddess worshiping cultures weren’t necessarily matriarchal, they were, as Riane Eisler brilliantly presents in The Chalice and the Blade, cooperative societies. 

The Goddess spoke to me first in a dream, Howling Mary. Honoring the Feminine Divine doesn’t involve putting our old patriarchal paradigm on a female projection; it means accessing what’s been demeaned.  Chief of all things to access is Love.  Self-love, love of others and love for all things; love as a spiritual practice.    There’s no doctrine for that; it’s a practice, just like dreaming is a practice with guidelines, but no rule book. 

The pay off is spiritual empowerment.  

May all your best dreams come true.  May Love help you find your way.



Sunday, December 10, 2017

Sunny Speaks to Me

My cat spoke to me in a dream a few nights ago; I love it when that happens, when animals have a dialogue with me in the dreaming.  It's always worthwhile to listen.

It was kind of funny because, as in waking life, my old gentleman is hard of hearing, so I was speaking right to his face, so he could lip read and enunciating to be as clear as possible.

He was telling me about his mother and father; I asked him to tell me more about his dad.  I don't know if he heard me correctly, but he answered "fathers are important", or something like that.

Of course it put me in mind of my own departed dad, how important he is in my life.  From there, a host of other beneficial ponderings ensued.

But how cool is it to hear an animal speak in a dream!  I laugh because in the dream I thought he sounds a lot like me but in a lower register.  Part of me is aware in the dream that it is all coming from me, for my sake.

Talking animals are the stuff of fairy tales, and dreams.  The fact that it's my beloved waking life cat conversing with me makes it even more thrilling.  Sunny is the most psychic cat I've ever lived with, from the beginning he acted like he just read your mind.  It's fun to have him show up with me in a dream, let alone talking.

There's a trickster, but deeply divine energy to the wisdom animals impart in dreams.  I collect my animal dreams in one file; I reread them often and value the energy and significance each one has gifted me from the dream lands.  Different animals gift different energies to the dreamer they visit.  I figure it's up to me to recognize the gift and honor it by paying attention and learning the lesson offered.

What animals have visited you lately in the dreaming?

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Dream Spirituality: the Divine in the 21st Century

"Full Moon In Taurus" by Katrin Haiba   2017
I don't know if you've noticed, but the world is in a shit load of trouble.  My best friend and partner, Jim, has taught me to distinguish between the world's situation and the people in it.  The trouble is incontrovertibly, the people.  The world, as Jim insists, is a beautiful place.

Why are people causing so much trouble, so much suffering for themselves and every living thing around them? Could it be that the people are acting out of misguided beliefs?

For all of  recorded history, not to be confused with actual history,  history is the story as told by the conqueror.  The conqueror's rule, the conqueror's dictums, the story as the conqueror sees it.  In a patriarchal paradigm, might makes right, strength is power and daddy knows best.  Patriarchy conquered about 6 millennia ago; Homo Sapiens, our clan, have been around for about 200,000 years.  Do the math; do you really think we came into our own only 6,000 years ago and sat around twiddling our thumbs before that? Archeological records suggest periods of human history resplendent with remarkable human works, and whats more, with respect for the Feminine Divine, God as Mother.

Today, can we recognize a failed paradigm when we're living it?

On this beautiful planet, patriarchal religions constructed the paradigm of violence and domination.  For the six millennia of father rule, patriarchies have been one blood bath after another.  The more rigid the tenets of the patriarchal belief structures, the worse women in that culture fare.  Restrictions on everything female are a hall mark of these paradigms.  "And he shall lord it over her" because she is at existential fault for all things evil.  You can call her Eve, make sure she stays in her place or she will deceive and subdue you.

But there was a time when we emerged, wide-eyed from our caves and proclaimed the Divine Mother.  It was a simple deduction.  Who gives birth?  Who bleeds and does not die?  The Great Mother is not Barbie dressed as the Virgin Mary; the Great Mother is the primal creative force of the Universe.

The problem with problem paradigms is, as you think, so shall you do.  If society can get us to accept absurdity as the norm, even the goal, through the crap they teach you is true, when it isn't, then that particular consensus reality can rule.  Patriarchy is a physical earth consensus reality that I think is way past its use by date.

Men don't have to feel threatened; they just have to open their hearts to the Feminine Divine, think with their hearts more and join the revolution.  The opposite of patriarchy isn't matriarchy; the patriarchal paradigm rules by hierarchies and force.  The opposite of patriarchy is balance - harmony, dance, and chill living.  Anyone want to sign up for a new paradigm?

Thinking is dangerously arbitrary; a paradigm that dictates inane, insane beliefs, especially about women for the benefit of men, also justifies the subjugation of one race to another.  It all begins with the hubris to make rules that handicap to any degree the natural potential of a person, whatever gender, whatever race.

Isn't it time we took stock of the wineskins into which we pour the truest elixirs of our soul?  God is not male or father.  God/Goddess is All.  Light. Energy.  Way too big for those tiny, stiff foreskins, I mean wineskins.

Haven't you met the divine in your dreams?  It doesn't always take the same form. Sometimes it's surprising or humbling to recognize our initial blindness to the shape the divine does take in our dreams, but when we become aware, we know it by the awe it inspires in us.  Your divine and my divine will not manifest the same.

Yet, from the time we're born, we're told god is Father, mighty, to be feared and to be catered to, regardless of how callous, cold and petty vengeful his actions often prove to be.  Take the principal sacrifice at the heart of patriarchal Christianity, that of the only, the good, loving son who must die to settle a debt.

How can a religion that claims god is love also insist that something so unnatural, horrible and cruel as demanding your own son's gory death to satisfy a sour tempered grudge is ultimately an act of selfless love for humanity?  But then again, how many sons have been sacrificed in any of those bloodbaths that are just the way patriarchy rolls.

Why has the Divine Mother been forgotten or relegated to the handmaid who'll do whatever the Father says?  It is no accident, as I've written, but the question for today, for the 21st century is, how much longer is an untenable spirituality going to rule us?  How much longer will people listen to religious babble and consider it the word of the one, almighty, all male, god?  Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?

If, as I've mentioned, our spirituality is as natural and individual to us as our bellybuttons, why not tune in to the channel you frequent every night and find out more about who you really are from your own direct connection?  Does that mean that we share nothing?  No, as it turns out, we soon learn that we share everything.  We are One.

Try seeing the divine in Mother as well as Father, equally; the yin and the yang is the great balance that makes life flow.  Try keeping an ear to your own best counsel of your dreams so that you come to realize you live in more than one place at once; the dream world and the physical world are equally, if differently, real.

Our differences are based not on physiology but on beliefs.  It's our belief that separates one from another, sometimes breeding real hatred.  Look at the racial hatred in vogue now; how stupid are these beliefs?  Many people can concur that they are; then how stupid is the belief in one supreme, male deity who wants anyone who doesn't agree to die a horrible, long painful death and forever burn in putrid fires for eternity.  Nice.

Dreaming is just one avenue to the spirituality that can liberate us of old, mean and dangerous beliefs. I heard Neal Degrasse Tyson call his version, cosmic spirituality.  We all don't have to arrive at the same conclusions nor follow the same paths; but we all have to find true balance so that we don't continue to rock the boat so violently ( the planet) on which our survival depends

There is no mistaking Love.  It doesn't restrict, punish nor demand.  It flows with what is needed most for the wellbeing of the soul. Love is ineffable and best experienced directly, so why not tune in to your own connections and open your heart to greater possibilities?

I didn't need to give up Jesus to give up patriarchal christianity; Jesus is the best feminist role model for men in patriarchal history.  The divine feminine is equally important to our psychic health as the divine masculine.  A divine masculine out of control is bad for you, a fact that history bears out repeatedly.  For spiritual balance the divine feminine must exert equal influence in the human psyche and the cultures we create.  Divine Love is a Dance.  We're here to dance, or at least let our hearts do it for us.


Tuesday, October 31, 2017

All That Dies Shall Be Reborn

This is an important time of year for me; I chose to marry my dear man on October 31st.  It's a sacred day to the earth religions, the pagans of the planet.  It's the day of transition between life and death, autumn and winter, into the dark, the still, the cold, the lifeless. It's also a time to give thanks for the bounty of the summer's harvest.

In pagan thought, all that dies will be reborn: Spring follows Winter; Life follows Death.  Spirit doesn't die; it transforms and transitions from matter to energy, and back again - from here to there, and back again.

Today, a friend spoke to me of her reservations about Halloween and all its hype.  Someone very dear to her died on this date and the practice of dressing as scary ghosts and ghouls repulses her. Me, too. The dead are not ghosts and ghouls; among them, are our beloved.

I shared with her the pagan understanding of Samhain, the Celtic holy day we now call Halloween, as the time in the circle of the year when the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest, when we're even closer to those we love who've died to the physical, where we still reside.  I celebrate my beloved dead at this time of year.  I forgive them their trespasses and ask them to forgive mine.  I know I'll see them, in dreams and most probably, after my crossing, so I strive to keep in touch.  My relationship to both my departed parents has grown immensely through our continued interactions in the dreaming.

All Hollow's Eve is a wonderful time to tune into the energy vibe of wishing those we love who've transitioned from the physical continued blessings on their spiritual paths and the assurance of our heartfelt love.  It's also a time to let go of attachments to the dead that may cause us unnecessary grief.  The veil is the thinnest for the benefit of both sides.  I wish you healing dreams to help you connect to those you love across the divide we call death.




Monday, October 16, 2017

Dream Inspirations



Last week I recorded a dream in my journal I titled, "Two Lions and Two Bears" in honor of the animals in it. I posted a challenge on my Lita Dreaming Facebook page  for anyone to write a story with that title.  While waiting for any responses, I wrote a poem from my dream.

Dreams inspire us to create, to live life with our full heart.

Two Lions and Two Bears
Dream Poem

I saw the man
Open his back door
And release the Black Lion.

Beautiful, beautiful
Beast.

I saw the man
Cross the Street
And release the second Lion.

This Lion,
The Tan Lion
Lived across the street from him.
And he was old.

Two Lions loose.

Should we tell the people?

Beware!

Two Lions
Turn into
Two Bears

Two Bears at the door.

Enter the bears,
We exit,
Through the same door,
With  curtseys.
Into the next room

Until the bears
Enter, again.

The two bears

That were once, two lions.